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A Year To Remember | ||||||
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Category: Alternate Universe Characters:Draco Malfoy, Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, General Warnings: Sexual Situations Rating: PG-13 Reviews: 124 Summary: *** The author has been reminded via the e-mail address on file that this story is listed as incomplete and has not been updated since 2006 *** Harry Potter is dying after a final battle with Voldemort. Ginny Weasley visits him at St. Mungo's, and confesses her true feelings for him. She falls asleep on his hospital bed, and flashes back to the year that was. Come along as Ginny experiences emotions that she never knew before, and goes through great lengths all for the one boy she loves... Please read to find out more, and don't forget to review! This story was written pre-HBP, and is now being considered AU. Hitcount: Story Total: 56532; Chapter Total: 3062 |
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November was now upon the castle. The weeks subsequent to Halloween had slipped by rather quickly. Nothing extremely notable had happened since Halloween, and the only people who even knew about that were Ginny and Malfoy. It kept Ginny shaken for a few days later, but soon, her other burdens began taking a heavy toll on her state of mind. Though every time she would see Malfoy, her stomach would become upset and her knees would get weak. Ginny and Seamus were still together, but Seamus did seem to be watching out more for her lately. Now, when Ginny would be talking to Harry, Seamus would stand near by, sometimes even putting himself into the conversation. Ginny occasionally found it annoying, but understood his reasoning. A part of her, though, was proud that she had a boyfriend that cared about her, even if it meant a little bit of jealousy. Although Ginny was fully aware that Seamus’s feelings for her were completely in vain, which would occasionally make her feel bad, depending on what type of mood she was in. As much as being with Seamus could take Ginny’s mind off of Harry, it also seemed to put him into her head when she and Seamus were not together. Ginny was beginning to feel the stress of keeping her feelings hidden for so long. They added to her already overwhelming pile of anxiety. It was a hard way to live, and Ginny knew it wasn’t doing her mind well. Ginny had been through her disquiets many times in her head. Loving Harry. Being with Seamus. Lying to Seamus. Lying to Harry. Not being able to grasp her emotions. Being selfish. And now the thing with Malfoy, which was probably going to become worse than it already was. It was all too much for Ginny. She needed to try to fix one of the things that she had made go wrong. In all of this, Ginny was growing restless. She had been hiding her feelings for Harry for so long now, that it was beginning to take the biggest toll on her body, seeing as it was the basis of all things painful in her life at the moment. It didn’t help at all that she had about six other things weighing her down, either. Ginny knew that she needed to tell somebody about her feelings for Harry. It was the only thing she could think of to do that would lighten the load on her mind and not cause any damage. Well it could cause damage, but not if Ginny went about it the right way, and told the right person. Ginny had tried to think of something else that could allow her to avoid telling her feelings, but this, as hard as it was for her, was the least painful thing she could do. Everything else involved or was based upon somebody else’s emotions, and those were something she couldn’t bring herself to toy with. Ginny couldn’t break up with Seamus; she couldn’t break his heart, and he was helping her. Ginny couldn’t tell Harry; that could cause an unthinkable amount of mess on both Ginny and Harry’s parts, not to mention Seamus and Bridget’s (although Ginny didn’t care much about Bridget’s feelings as she did Seamus’s). She couldn’t get hold of her emotions; Ginny had already tried that, and it wasn’t working out. And to stop lying to Harry and Seamus? That would unravel everything, causing a mass breakdown for her. She also couldn’t do anything about Malfoy; trying to sway his feelings for her would probably backfire, anyway, and plus, Ginny knew what kind of danger she could be putting herself in. That left for Ginny to tell somebody her feelings about Harry. And as much as she didn’t want to, Ginny knew that she had to let something off her mind, for the state of her well-being. Ginny’s classmates had noticed a quick change in her behavior from only a few weeks. She had been quiet and reserved, not her normal social, happy self. Harry had taken a particular amount of worry on her, and was constantly asking her what was wrong. Ginny had resorted to telling him that she had been given a lot of homework during the past few weeks, and thought she was coming down with a cold as well, so she was feeling stress from that. But being as he was Harry, he saw through her completely. “You are going to tell me what’s wrong,” Harry said quite forcefully, as he confronted Ginny one evening in the common room, while she sat quietly on her chair, gazing into the fire. “I’ve already told you, I’ve had a lot of work, and I think I might be have a cold. I’m just feeling bad from that,” Ginny tried convincing Harry, but with no luck. “I think you’re sick with something else,” Harry said, sitting down next to her on the chair. “I know something more is wrong, and you’re getting yourself ill over it. Is it anything with Seamus? Has he done something to hurt you?” “No,” Ginny muttered apprehensively. “Then what is it? Tell me what’s bothering you,” Harry practically pleaded this to Ginny, which made her feel an intense amount of distress. Ginny wanted to tell him, she really did. But she couldn’t. And it made her hurt inside, and her heart throb painfully when she was around him. She could feel tears beginning to gather in her eyes. Ginny tried holding them back for a moment, but then made the mistake of looking back to Harry, who’s eyes were wide and beseeching, yearning for her to give him a sufficient, truthful answer. Ginny couldn’t take it. Tears began rolling down her face, and she had to look away from Harry, far too aggrieved to see him anymore. “I wish I could, Harry,” Ginny sobbed, and then quickly gathered herself from the chair, and hurried to her dormitory. Ginny heard a faint, “Wait,” from Harry, but ignored it. She couldn’t take the pain of being with him; it was just too much. ******************** It had been two days since Ginny’s slight emotional breakdown in the Gryffindor common room. Seamus, who wasn’t present at the time, felt particularly bad about it. He tried very hard to comfort Ginny, but she wasn’t feeling the slightest amount better, and being with Seamus made her feel like she was on the brink of another crash. Ron had been paying more attention to her than Ginny ever thought he had in her entire life. Every time they would see each other in the corridors, Ron would stop, asking Ginny if she was feeling all right. Ginny knew he was worried about her. They were all worried about her, it seemed. Ginny had to tell somebody soon, or risk having another incident. The one person who stood out in her mind was Hermione. Ginny couldn’t tell Ron, because one, he was her brother. She could not speak of her feelings to her brother, especially when those feelings were for his best friend. And two, since Harry was Ron’s best friend, the information would undoubtedly be forwarded on to him, probably not even on purpose. Obviously, she couldn’t tell Harry. That was one of her tensions. That left Hermione. Ginny didn’t mind this, though. Hermione was one of her best friends, and she knew she could trust her with anything, especially something like this. Saturday evening at dinner, Ginny asked Hermione if she could talk to her later that night. “Of course, Ginny. I’m always here to listen,” Hermione told her. “Thanks. I really think I need to talk to somebody.” “I figured that was the case, after, you know, the other day,” Hermione said hesitantly. “Yes…” Ginny looked down. She was still slightly embarrassed by it. “Can we talk in the common room tonight, after everyone has gone to bed? Maybe a little after midnight?” “Sure. I won’t forget, I promise.” She smiled respectfully at Ginny, and then took a sip from her goblet. Hermione was such a great friend. Ginny was glad to have her. *********************** Later that evening in the Gryffindor Tower, Harry came to Ginny again. As she saw him approach her, she could feel her cheeks heat up. Ginny was slightly discomfited from what had happened, and still wasn’t feeling stable enough to have a one on one conversation with Harry. Harry didn’t know this, so he still made his way to her, nonetheless. “Hi,” he said to her, as he joined her by the fire. “Hullo,” Ginny responded with trepidation. “Do you, er, want to talk about what happened, you know, the other night?” Harry asked her, with the same anxious look in his eyes Ginny had seen so very often. Ginny looked down for a moment, contemplating her thoughts. How could she put this without sounding irritable or rude? “No,” Ginny answered. A simple answer. Hopefully Harry wouldn’t ask her to go into more depth. “Oh. Alright then,” Harry replied, as Ginny winced, afraid of what he might say, but then somewhat pleased of what he did. “I think I’m going to go to bed now,” Ginny said to him, excusing herself from the common room, again leaving Harry speechless and alone on the couch. ******************** At a quarter past twelve that night, Ginny got out of bed, and descended the stairs to the common room. A part of her was glad to be letting off some of the stress she was carrying, but the other part was also a little nervous. Ginny had never officially admitted her love for Harry, and the feeling that she was about to tell someone the thing that she had held inside of her for so long was a bit overwhelming, even if Hermione was one of her best friends. Ginny entered the common room, and found Hermione already sitting quietly on one of the couches. Ginny walked over to her, and took a seat. “Hello,” Hermione said kindly. “Hi,” Ginny replied. “So,” Hermione said, getting right to the point. “About your–you know. What happened? I noticed something was bothering you, I mean, I think we all did. You made yourself ill over something. What’s really been bothering you, Ginny?” “So many things,” Ginny began. “I don’t even know where to begin.” Hermione nodded her head, and smiled politely. “Well, I’m listening. Please, go on.” Ginny took a deep breath in, and told Hermione. “I…I like Harry,” Ginny stuttered. Hermione just stared at her. “Ok…I like him a lot,” Ginny tried again, but it still wasn’t right. She sighed. “No, I take that back. I don’t like him. I love him.” “And…?” Hermione said in reply. “And? And what?” Ginny asked. What else was she expecting? “Well I already knew that,” Hermione said bluntly. “You…what?” Ginny asked confused. How could she have already known? “Ginny. I’ve known for quite a long time. Remember two years ago when you told me you had given up on Harry? The second you said it I didn’t believe you, but when Harry asked me if you still fancied him, of course I couldn’t tell him what I still knew, that would be like telling a secret. I couldn’t do it because I was your friend. So I’ve known since then. Plus, your body language around him is unmistakable. It’s that of somebody who is in love,” Hermione told her. “Oh,” Ginny replied. It made it a bit easier now. “Well I had to tell somebody. I had those feelings bottled up inside me for so long, I was bound to crash sometime. And then I did. It just got to the point were I couldn’t be with him. It wasn’t like that before. I don’t even know what happened. It all sort of came at once. Everything just piled up, and Harry, my feelings for him, was the source of it, and that was on top of it all, and I know I’m not making any sense at all, am I?” “No, but I understand completely,” Hermione continued. Ginny had really only planned on telling her love for Harry, but as Hermione was one of her best friends, she might as well tell her the rest. “Everything started with my feelings for Harry,” Ginny began again, trying this time to make more sense of it all. Ginny told Hermione everything. About the detention she and Harry shared at the beginning of the year, and what almost happened. How she caught Harry and Bridget together before they had come out as a couple. How it hurt her so much to know that it could have been she and Harry if she would have just done something more. That she was basically just using Seamus as an excuse not to think about Harry, and how sometimes she felt guilty about it, and others she felt selfish. How she was torn over what to do about Seamus. And then about the whole Malfoy thing. “Wow,” was Hermione’s first reaction to everything. “I know. It doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal, but it is. I haven’t been able to tell anybody, and I needed to so bad. And I don’t know what to do about any of it.” "It is a big deal, Ginny. You have so much weighing you down, it's horrid. And about Malfoy. You might have to tell somebody more than me about that. That was much too aggressive. I think you should go to McGonagall," Hermione told Ginny. "I think I shouldn't," Ginny retorted. "Going to a teacher could make things worse." Hermione took a deep breath in. "I hate to say it, but you're probably right. Knowing Malfoy, he could do something else...What I don't want to think about. But if anything like that happens again, you must go to a teacher, or to me, so I can," Hermione said. "Alright," Ginny agreed. "Then what about..." Hermione paused for a second, and then spoke. “Everything is going to be just fine. Now that you’ve told me, I’m here whenever you need me again. Now, what are we going to do about the rest?” “I don’t think I want to do anything about it,” Ginny said, biting her lip. “What d’ you mean?” Hermione asked her. “Well, if I try doing something about it, as in, break up with Seamus, or tell Harry, that would unwind everything I’ve already established. It could cause havoc for me. And for Harry. He has a life, too. I don’t want to ruin it just because of how I feel.” “Ginny,” Hermione smiled. “You’re basing your life on what you think is going to effect Harry. You need to stop thinking about him, and more about you. You’re miserable right now,” Hermione gave Ginny a pleading look, and Ginny knew she was right, even though she was having a hard time admitting it. “I can’t. Do anything about it. I–I just can’t,” Ginny was having trouble now. Hold yourself together, she thought. You’re fine. Keep strong. She wasn’t fine, though. A tear ran down her cheek, and within seconds they were streaming down her face. “Oh, Ginny. I know. Everything will be fine,” Hermione said, pulling her into a comforting hug. Ginny cried into Hermione’s shoulder for a moment or two, when something inside her changed. She began feeling lighter. Ginny looked up to Hermione. “That–that helped,” she coughed, but then also found herself laughing some, and Hermione smiled back. “Good,” Hermione nodded. Ginny wiped her eyes. She had told Hermione everything, and had a good cry over it. She felt like half of her burden had been lifted off of her shoulders. Ginny knew Hermione was right. She would really need to sort things out. She couldn’t now, though; she would be risking far too much. Ginny felt better just talking about what was going on, and she thought she would be able to get back to her normal self soon enough. “Hermione,” Ginny said as she got off the couch. “Yes?” “You are such a great friend. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Hermione grinned. Ginny walked back up to her dormitory feeling a lot better about the situation at hand. She knew she would still have to deal with her assortment of emotions again tomorrow, but now that she had them opened to Hermione, it seemed a lot less demanding. |
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